Sarah Leyton | Having Writer Friends
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Having Writer Friends

I’m going to say something here that I find true: making friends as an adult sucks. It sucks like a Dyson on steroids. You have people you work with, people you know from here or there, but it’s not like back in school where you find “your people” and completely bond because of your shared status and interests.

Number one, it’s hard to meet people as an adult unless you’re involved in activities (or your kids are involved in activities). Number 2, even if you do meet people, they’re not necessarily people you want to hang out with for any stretch of time (there’s always that one mom at the soccer games you’d like to have your kid kick with their cleats, amiright?)

There is hope! Have you ever met another writer especially a romance writer, out in the wild? You’re standing next to someone in the coffee line and ask what they do…they say writer. My immediate reaction is to greet them by flinging my arms out like an enthusiastic drag queen offered free shots at a birthday party. 

There’s an instant connection that can happen between writers. Writing can be such a solitary, insular activity–just you in front of a computer tapping away with only the junk on your desk and a cooling cup of coffee at your elbow. When we meet other writers there’s a bond that fuses instantly. We all know the pain of rejection, the joy of success, the struggle, the time, the motivation and lack of it, the satisfaction of completing something to be proud of, and the loneliness of isolation.

Now, I’m not here to tell you that you’ll bond and be instant friends with every writer that you meet. Spoiler alert: you won’t. There are still personalities, background, beliefs, etc. to take into account. However, I think that, as writers, it is vital to create friendships with other writers. Whether they are your critique partners (if you don’t have some, get them IMMEDIATELY as they are vital), people in your chapter or writer group, people you’ve met online or through social media.

There’s no right way to do it, just do it. Surround yourself with other writers. Be a support to other writers and let them be a support to you. Writer friends can help you when you’re stuck with a story, or looking for character names, or need the motivation to start writing again. They celebrate your victories and console you through the hard times. All because they know exactly what you’re going through. They’ve been there. And they need your friendship as well when it’s their turn to be celebrated or consoled. 

For me, I joined my local RWA chapter in Kansas City, and it has been the best decision I have ever made. I went from a completely isolated writing experience to having a close group of friends, critique group, mentors, sounding boards, support system, and cheerleading squad. 

I recommend seeing what groups are local to your area. If you’re isolated or you don’t really click with them, then turn to the internet. Get on Facebook or Twitter. There are literally THOUSANDS of groups and other writers out there. They’re waiting for you. You just have to reach out.


Okay, yes, the image on this blog is not quite perfect; however, I am not a woman able to resist a sexy man with a lumberjack beard or a sexy man in a suit. This picture has both, so it’s staying.

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